29 - Tamarro

Episode XXIX


(ta – MAR – ro)

The male counterpart to the vrenzola, the tamarro is Vulgarity incarnated in a male form. Crass and uncivilized, he dresses like the imbecile that he is, talks even worse and behaves like a barbarian: it is simply useless to think that it’s possible to conduct a meaningful conversation with him, even because, as well as vrenzole, he doesn’t speak an intelligible language.

If vrenzole are the Yin of vulgarity, tamarri are its Yang. They share many of the flaws of vrenzole, such as lack of social graces, horrible tastes in dressing and behaving (at least they do not paint their nails), an abysmal behaviour in almost any social situation, a language stuffed with obscenities and spoken at the same noise level a Boeing 747 during take off phase would produce, and the general array of indecencies that are proper of the subjects of the previous entry.

Let’s talk about differences, then. Just like vrenzole, tamarri are fixated on their look, but if vrenzole tend to rely heavily on make-up and tan beds (yes, usually the skin of a vrenzola is of a deep shade of brown even in January), the tamarri favour gyms. The tamarro is usually fond of physical fitness, lifting many many times weights, sweating and toiling to build up muscular mass to achieve two important goals: 1) vrenzole fancy muscular men; 2) being physically strong could give the edge during a beating against other groups of tamarri, an occurrence that is far from rare (yeah, who could imagine this kind of people being violent…). They usually favour gyms because there are subgroups of tamarri that, instead, think that “fat is fair”, produly ostentating bellies that would make every sumo fighter proud. Just like vrenzole, however, every tamarro loves tanning, and they spend hour at spas frying their skins with enough gamma radiation to let them walk completely naked in Fukushima without any concern.

In addition to this, tamarri love soccer. While this is a common trait they share with vrenzole (who possess it to a much lower degree), they are single-minded when it comes to the national sport, and they strongly support Napoli. Stadium songs are part of their every-day life, they often sport tattoos dedicated to the team, and on match day there isn’t virtually anything else but Napoli. Last but not least, when framed in a video, a tamarro will never resist the urge to yell FOZZA NAPOLI.




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